Emotion
by All The Stars In The Sky
Summary: -Then it hits me, and I feel as if my air flow is being blocked, I am struggling to breathe. A collection of one-shots based on certain emotions. Third chapter is up, please R&R!
1. Hatred, Grief

I am cold, but I enjoy it. I am in pain, but I embrace it. I am filled with hate, but I try to contain it.

I am cold because my mother is gone; no longer is her soft, warm belly here for me to nuzzle into, to bring me the comfort and security that I need. I am cold because my sister, my only sibling, is gone too; I can feel the empty air where I know she should be. I am cold because I refuse to curl up to a cat who is not my mother. I sit away from her, my icy eyes glaring in her direction through the tiny slit my eyelids left me to see through.

I am in pain, and my wounds are throbbing. I shouldn't be bearing these marks of battle; I am young, I am only a kit, I am so helpless, but that didn't matter when the fight that took my family away from me occurred. The cats who so heartlessly tore them out of my life did not care that I was too young to deserve to feel pain. But the physical pain drowns out the ache in my heart; so I will take it.

The hate within me seems so impossible for me to contain. And yet, how could someone so innocent, so pure, be filled with such a negative emotion, to such an extreme? It is true, and no one knows it but me. I am quiet; they figure it is the shock of my loss, and the fear that comes with it. They are wrong; I am fighting to control the anger, the fury, the agony that crashes and explodes inside of me. I want to curse the beings who have forced this pain upon me, I want them to experience exactly how much I am hurting, but I can only dream with empty hopes.

I cast a jealous glance of loathing at the three kittens at the other side of the nursery; they are sleeping contently, their minds are not stained with a darkness like mine. They have a mother who will nurse them and love them and care for them and protect them and...

My thoughts trail off, and I am left to fend for myself in the endless torture that is my own mind. Some of these feelings I cannot name or describe; it is so unusual for me to experience. Up until a few nights ago, my life had been nothing but happiness, warmth, love, and even excitement at times. And now I have sunk to the bottom of an ocean of despair, and I am too weak to escape it. I am drowning, I am searching for the air, the relief, the escape that is not there.

I try to focus on my throbbing, aching wounds again. It is easier; I like it. I vaguely hear my 'foster mother' trying to convince me to suckle. I ignore her, pointedly turning my head away. I wish I could escape from this pain, but even in my dreams it does not leave me. It might be worse, even. Because in my dreams I escape from this scene, although the hurt is still there. I do not understand why there is so much pain, when everything in my dreams are the way they used to be, but then I wake up, and it aches more than ever.

I am fighting again, this time against the drooping of my eyelids. I do not wish to wake up in the morning to experience this torture again. I am a coward; I am willing to take death to be freed. I would take death over this, no matter how painful it was. At least I'd be with my mother and sister again. Suddenly, the pain was pushed aside for a moment, and a desperate longing filled it. A desperate longing to die.

**Please review if you like it, or if I need improvements, or even to suggest something. Can you guess what this emotion was? **

**Anyways, I have the next chapter finished, and I'm half-way through the third, so if you want more, please review!**


	2. Fear

**Thank you for reviewing, here is the second chapter! The first main emotion was hatred, but there was also grief and jealousy, but they aren't the ones I was focusing on. Also, the first and second chapter are from the perspective of unnamed cats, I just started writing without thinking of who it was. The third chapter is from one of Erin Hunter's characters. Hoepfully that'll be up later today, if not I'll try to get it up on Tuesday. Enjoy!**

I am hiding in the shadows; my body is tense, and my muscles are aching with protest at staying still for so long. The only sound I can hear is my heartbeat; it seems loud enough that it would alert a cat on the other side of our territory of my presence. Against my will, it pounds harder against my ribs.

I am frozen; a statue. My eyes are wide, and they do not blink. My mouth is hung slightly open in shock, and my breathing is more like short, shallow gasps of air.

My heartbeat is no longer the only sound disturbing the silence; I can hear rustling, and I shudder involuntarily. My whiskers quiver, and I watch in horror at the scene before me. I am so unbelievably thankful that I stay unseen in the darkness.

I knew they would come, the large, muscular cats that strode toward the terrified felines that were my family. If only I were strong enough to help them, to save them from this dreadful fate. The enemy's eyes and teeth gleam in the moonlight, eerie enough to make my whole body begin to shake. I hit some leaves by accident, but the huge figures are too focused on their mission to notice.

It is a lost battle, but my family is prepared to fight. I remember the instructions given to me that have been shoved to the back of my mind, but they seem more urgent as I am aware of the petrified she-cat beside me. I tear my eyes away from the doomed battle in front of us to study her face. Her eyes are a reflection of my own; horror, loss, pain, sadness, but most of all: fear. It is not only visible in her eyes, but in every hair on her pelt. Her fur is sticking straight out, making her seem twice her size. She is terrified.

I know that for her sake, I have to obey their orders, their final requests. She looks up at me, shock, horror, and agony breaking out in her expression as yowls, screeches, and hissing sounds in front of us. Neither of us look.

I nudge her toward our escape route, but she cannot move. She is frozen as I was moments ago. We cannot afford to react that way. It could cost us our lives. I nip her lightly on the tail, and she jumps, but understands. Adrenaline pulses through our bodies as we flee, flying through the undergrowth as fast as we can.

We are running, but we are not far enough away. We hear a final cry of distress before it gets cut off with a choking, gurgle-like sound. We are scared, but the fear brings with it a desperation to escape, to run away before our fate turns out like our families, and their fight and their deaths are all for nothing. We are still shaking, still terrified even after we know we have made it, the fear is still clutching at our hearts. We collapse into two heaps of tense fur, and we know that sleep will not save us until this horrible feeling of terror is gone.

**Unfortunately a bit short, but I hope you liked it. Please review! The more reviews I get, the more I want to write. Thank youu! -Sky**


	3. Chapter 3

**The last chapter's emotion was fear! Thank you for reviewing. This one is probably obvious too.. Enjoy!**

My pawsteps are quick and light, almost silent on the dry earth. I can just make out the sound of his footsteps, following me just as quickly. I almost smirk.

My mind is buzzing with anticipation, and I slow to match his pace. We walk together, following a worn out path that leads to the lake. I can't keep my eyes off him; they keep straying to his beautiful face, his perfectly shaped ears, his amazing eyes.

My eyes stop there, at his eyes. Without either of us realizing it, we have slowed to a stop, and are staring at each other. My gaze is intense, as intense as his. Through our connection we tell each other the millions of things that words cannot explain. I am speechless.

We have stopped at our destination, but neither of us can look away and glance to the side of us at the perfect picture of beauty. Wait, I'm lying. I'm already staring at that.

Memories spring forth from the back of my mind, running through my thoughts. I am remembering every second I've ever spent with him, every moment of perfection that I've ever experienced. I remember growing up in the nursery together, surrounded by the warm scent of milk, and then as apprentices, learning together, watching as you turned from a gangly, awkward apprentice into a muscular, confident warrior.

I'm sure you're remembering the same things, and my eyes soften with amusement as I remember our first fight. My fury had blocked out everything else; including common sense. I had attacked you, and we had fought with tooth and claw, although you were afraid to hurt me. I remember the guilt that had always lurked in the bottom of my stomach for awhile after that, the hatred that I felt towards myself, and the fear that you would hate me in the same way.

I was wrong, and I am so glad that I was. I come to the realization of what we are now, and my heart just about bursts with joy, happiness, love. I feel light, I want to skip about and tease you and play the carefree games that are long lost in our past.

I finally break out of my statue-like state, and lean forward to nuzzle your neck, my soft, seductive purr breaking out deep in my throat. You purr back, deeper, more rasping, and I step delicately closer to you, winding my thin frame around your muscular bulk. I end up sitting beside you, our pelt's are pressed together. I can feel your tail edging closer to mine, and I know you are desperate to intwine them, to be holding as much of me as you can. I press even closer to your warm body, our purrs almost deafening.

I feel so entirely whole that I do not believe that it should be allowed. Could a cat possibly deserve so much perfection? That word, I keep thinking it, because I know it's the only one that could possibly describe you. I gaze at you again with my lovestruck green eyes, and I try to memorize every single hair on your pelt, it seems. I can't bear to ever be separated from you now.

Then it hits me, and I feel as if my air flow is being blocked, I am struggling to breathe. You do not notice; I'm talented with keeping my emotions hidden. Your beauty, your perfection, _you._ Compared to me. My overwhelming happiness is being sucked away by something much worse, something darker than a night with no moon. I feel despair, and I want to wail out loud.

As good as I am at keeping my emotions a secret, you must be better at reading me. You tense, and your amber eyes are staring at me with concern. You don't need to speak; I already know what you're asking.

"I don't deserve you," I tell you, my voice is like the lightest whisper of wind over the moors. Your face changes; I see shock, confusion, and then suddenly, understanding. You stare at me and speak with so much truth that it is carved into the middle of my heart. I feel relief swell up, and my air returns, filling my lungs with such a sweetness I feel dizzy. The world spins, but it is okay, because I can still hear your sweet voice echoing in my mind.

"_Never _think that, you must never. I love you, Whitewing. You're perfect. _We're _perfect."

**Maybe a tad bit sappy, but I like it. Please review, even if you're just saying that you like it, or you want me to update, or it's good. If you don't like it, review too.. just don't be excessively rude. Please. Next chapter will hopefully be up by Thursday! -Sky**


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